Are you struggling to ask your potential partner out again? Do you need help figuring out when to ask for a second date?
(Un)fortunately, you are not alone! We have all been in this unenviable position, but got out of it, hopefully with another perfect date!
We put together this article you can use as a guide to scoring another date without going through much trouble.
You’ll learn:
- How to ask for a second date by text
- How to ask for a second date in person
- How to ask for a second date without sounding desperate
- When to ask for a second date
By the end, you will know when, where, and how to ask for a second date without sounding desperate.
Let’s take it away!
How to ask for a second date by text
Modern dating and communication etiquette are nothing like what our parents and grandparents knew to be the standard of courtship.
With the help of technology, the dating scene has moved to cyberspace, making everybody available around the clock and blurring the lines of gender roles (which should have happened earlier). It seems like different rules of engagement are in play!
Take texting, for example. Just 20 years ago, you had to pick up a phone or see your date in person to ask them out again. Today, you can easily slip a quick message into their DMs and hope they accept your offer.
Now that we got the times down, let’s see how to execute “Operation: Second Date”!
Playing hard to get sounds so last season! People usually prefer an honest and direct approach, without drama and playing mind games. Here are a few examples of how to ask for a second date by text:
- “I enjoyed our date. Would you like to do it again soon?”
- “I would love to see you again. When are you available for a second date?”
- “I think we have a lot in common. I want to see you again.”
- “What a lovely time we had! I’m looking forward to a second date.”
And you probably can’t wait to get a reply, but remember that texting is not always as instant as it seems. Allow your date to take their time and wait patiently for an answer. Not getting a message in the exact second doesn’t mean they are already ghosting you!
And if you don’t get any answer learn what to do when someone ignores your text.
How to ask for a second date in person
Asking for a second date in person is much like asking via text. You can use the same questions and phrases listed above, only this time, there is no need to read between the lines and wonder if your texts painted the right picture.
Ask your love interest for a quick meetup so you can arrange the next date. It’s best to do it on neutral ground, like a coffee shop or his office. It is not your second date; this is only a short visit so that you can discuss possible times, dates, and even activities. You can say something along these lines:
- “Hey, do you have a few minutes after work to arrange a second date?”
- “Can I swing by your office to make plans for our second date?”
If you get a “yes,” this is your chance to let them see and hear how much you liked them, not just read about it on an app.
Allow your body language to give some context to your words. Looks, “accidental” touches, smiles, your voice – let your body speak of how much you enjoyed spending time with this person.
However, you’d like to keep this short and avoid outbursts of love and affection! Flirting is one thing; acting like a psycho is another!
Talk about how much fun you had last time and how much you’d like to get to know them even better. If you can’t decide how to ask for a second date without sounding desperate, here are some simple lines you can use:
“I think there was a spark between us. If you agree, I’d love to go out again soon.”
“I think we have a great connection and would love to see if there is something more to it.”
So, now that you’ve taken the initiative and suggested a second date, you might as well organize it. Just make sure you aren’t doing things or going places where either of you will feel uncomfortable.
How to ask for a second date without sounding desperate
Scoring a second date boils down to three things: your thoughts and feelings, communication, and enthusiasm.
First of all, it’s important to analyze why you are shooting for a second date? Did you enjoy yourself during the first one, or do you feel like it’s the right thing to do?
You may wonder why would anyone ask for a second date if the initial one was a disaster, but many people feel like they should do it because of a situation as the following happened:
- “They refused to split the bill and paid for the date, so I feel like I owe them dinner!”
- “Maybe it wasn’t a good day for them. I should give the guy/gal another chance.”
- “I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I should see them again.”
On the flip side, if you feel intrigued by this awesome person and can’t wait to learn more about them, you should ask them out again.
That is where communication comes in. It doesn’t take much practice to ask for a second date without sounding desperate. All you have to do is be as clear as possible about it.
While you should be direct with your words, they are not the only way to convey a message. You can show them how interested you are in a second date by exuding confidence, making eye contact, smiling, leaning in, and being relaxed and comfortable in their presence.
Rest assured, they will notice the enthusiasm in how you act and move around them. Nothing can hide real chemistry.
How long should you wait to ask for a second date
You found this incredible person, had the best time together, and can’t wait to do it again. Now the question is, how long do you wait to ask for a second date?
While it’s circumstantial, stats show that the longer you wait, the lesser your chances of scoring another date. Here are some suggestions about when to ask for a second date:
The same night: Be short and clear. Tell them you had a great night and would love to see them again soon. You don’t want to sound pushy or clingy, but it’s a nice sentiment to let your date know you like them.
2-3 days later: If you haven’t texted already, wait two or three days before getting in touch. Again, send your date something simple like, “I love your vibe. I think we clicked. Would you be up for a second date?”.
Within a week: In modern terms, a week would be too big of a window, but some people want to take things slow, and that’s okay. Keep in mind that your date may think you are not very interested in them and decide to move on.
Final tips on how to ask for a second date
Asking for a second date would be easier if we didn’t complicate things so much by overanalyzing everything.
You can do it via text, in person, or in any other way you believe would give you a chance to hang out with your love interest again.
Whichever way you go about it, don’t let your emotions get you. Always expect a “yes,” but don’t be disappointed if they turn you down. There’s plenty of fish in the sea!
