There is probably nothing that can compare to the hurt experienced when a spouse cheats. You thought you had finally found your prince charming and escaped all the troubles of single life. Only for them to follow you right into your married life.
These days, one of the most frustrating forms of infidelity is online dating while in committed and healthy relationships. The worst part is that it is difficult for many people to determine whether or not it is cheating, especially if it all remains online.
So,
- How can you determine if your wife or husband is on a dating website?
- How to deal with finding your spouse on a dating site?
How can you find out if your wife or husband is on a dating site
When it comes to relationships, things can head the other way so quickly and quietly that you wouldn’t even catch the wind. However, just like heavy clouds come before the rain, you can always see the signs of a cheating partner before catching them pants down a short while later.
If you have already seen the signs and now want to find out the truth, this insightful piece will come in handy for you. Here are 4 steps you can take to be sure whether your husband or wife is flirting away and planning meet-ups with someone else behind your back.
Check Their Web History on Different Devices
Thanks to advanced technology, you can easily view someone’s browsing history if they use the same account on several devices they own. If your spouse uses the same browsing account on all their mobile devices, you can use that to see what they have been up to.
Look up your region’s most popular dating sites and create a small watch list. Next, go to one of their shared devices and check if you will get any of all the dating sites in their browser history.
Several popular dating sites make a good match for spouses willing to put one foot outside the “till death do us part” vow. They include FriendFinder.com, MarriedCafe.com, eHarmony.com, NoStringsAttached.com, and Dating.com.
Dating apps such as OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Facebook Dating, and XO should also be top on your watch list.
Other apps that fuel the fire of a potentially cheating wife or husband include TigerText, Vaulty Stocks, and HAA. Such apps have exciting features designed to keep affairs thriving ten feet under the surface. We are talking about disappearing messages and the ability to bury intimate photos and videos deep in their devices.
In essence, if you come across online dating apps or dating sites that promises to spark romance on any of your partner’s devices, you should zoom in on it. It might just be the ground used to nurture the relationship that will soon replace yours.
Nonetheless, it is crucial to remember that getting into someone else’s phone without their consent is a criminal offense punishable by the law. So tread carefully.
Ask The Good’ol Google For Help
Google has been around for decades and has improved its search features. Currently, plenty of its features complement the do-it-yourself dating detective mission you are on.
A lot of information is available with your partner’s details, like their name, email address, and phone number. A quick Google search on those details will uncover many of their illegal romantic dealings online. The same applies to other search engines, including Bing and Yahoo.
An image search gets the results of all websites where your spouse has added their image online. Just download a photo you think or know they love using a lot on social media as it brings them out well. Add the image to your preferred search engine and run a search on it to see what results you get.
Pretend to be Their “Soulmate” From Within Their Neighborhood on Dating Sites
That means joining popular dating sites and apps and pretending to have everything your spouse is looking for. The test makes perhaps one of the best traps that bring your cheating partner to your lap without a struggle.
Now pretending to be your wife’s or husband’s soulmate might seem counterproductive. You chose to be together because you both felt you were soulmates at some point in your lives.
However, if the slowly creeping doubts have come to convince you otherwise, they need to be addressed. The good thing is that you may know your spouse well enough to know what they like, so it will be easy to get them if they are on the dating apps.
Create dating profiles and social media accounts, and fill in all the personal details required to make you a perfect match for your partner to be matched with them. Before you know it, they will be in your DM finessing you if they are, in fact, on dating apps and social media.
How About Hiring a Professional Private Investigator?
The previous techniques teach you how you can improve your investigative skills and get better at catching cheaters.
However, there are certain things you can do in your DIY (do it yourself) detective work that can get you in trouble with the law without even knowing.
Suppose you seek evidence required by the court to get compensation, freedom, or the right to have or do something you want. There is evidence you can collect through ways that the court can fail to recognize as credible.
That is where the need for a private investigator comes in. They will help you find the proof you’re looking for in the exact manner needed to give you the edge in your divorce settlement.
Private investigators are well trained and have practical tools to ensure they provide quality undeniable evidence of a cheating partner.
Is it cheating if they did nothing?
Before we get into details on what to do when you find your husband or wife on Ashley Madison or another affair dating site, let’s first clear up the huge debate. Cheating is cheating. Bottom line. End of story. It doesn’t matter if it’s the alleged harmless flirting or they moved it offline into a physical relationship. Do not brush it off simply because they say they didn’t do anything.
The chances are that they are lying about it, or they would have ended up doing something worse had you not caught up. As a result, it is very important to ensure that you handle the situation with the same zest as you would have normal cheating. So here are a few things you could do to help you through these hard times.
How to deal with finding your spouse on a dating site
1. Be open about it without being confrontational
One of the biggest challenges in these situations is striking a balance between being honest and avoiding boxing your partner into a corner. If you go in guns blazing, you will not achieve much. Most caught spouses take the hard defense stance and will deny everything or shift blame.
Instead, calm down, gather the facts and present them so that there is no chance to argue. It is also important for you to explain how betrayed and hurt you feel. Sometimes this is the only way to get them to see that what they did wasn’t ok.
2. Ask them why they did it
There is no justifiable reason for a married or committed person to have an online dating profile. However, giving them a chance to explain themselves can help if you plan on fixing things. So ask them to explain and give them a chance to finish. You need to let your beau speak their mind. Even if it hurts, have a DTR talk.
3. Work on any issues that could have contributed
Once you have gotten them to open up about their reasons, you need to be willing to work on those issues. Maybe she feels that you do not give her enough attention and compliments. It could be that your husband feels like your relationship dynamics constantly bruise his ego. That does not in any way mean that it is your fault. Not at all. However, if there are things that can change that will help, then it is best to address them early.
4. Make them deactivate their profiles
You cannot move forward while the problem persists. Therefore, even during your heart-to-heart talks, it is important to remember and address the main issue. Insist that they deactivate all dating sites accounts. Do not put it as an ultimatum but be clear about how important it is to you.
5. Keep it between the two of you
You will be tempted to share your anger, hurt, and disappointment with anything with a pulse. Don’t do it if you plan on giving it another try. Talk to someone unbiased, like a therapist, if you feel you must let it out. Telling friends or family will make them form negative notions against your spouse, which will make it impossible for you to bounce back as a healthy relationship couple.
6. If you can, then forgive them
All factors considered, you need to let it go. Forgive your partner and try your best to put the past behind you. It means that bringing it up in future arguments is a major no-no.
7. If you can’t forgive, then leave
If, for some reason, you cannot let it go, then do not torture yourself. Marriage is a big deal and a serious commitment, but it is also important to look out for yourself. Considering an exit strategy is especially important if your partner has a significant history of cheating on you and making promises that he doesn’t bother to keep.
